Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Advent Calendar Post!

My turn! Carl and I teamed up to bring you.... something that I hope is different! You have to read his post first, though, to understand what is going on. I had help with my part, so, I can't take all the credit. ha ha! The Charming Comedian helped, so I will take this opportunity to say Merry Christmas to him and to all of you! Enjoy!

The Story:

Until.... Off slides the cover of the sewer drain and four five foot turtles pop up and draw their weapons and look around in four different directions. From the east comes the Joker, from the west comes Doctor Octopus, from the north comes the Grinch, and from the south Kermit reappears with his microphone.

Kermit: "Where's Piggy when you need her?"

(From off-stage comes a voice just as the Ninja Turtles and the villains engage) "Here I am Kermie!"

(Miss. Piggy struts out on stage dressed all in pink leather. After she annihilates all three villains, she is still totally enraged and turns on the Turtles, who flee and jump back down the hole! They know better than to tamper with an angry pig!)

As they disappear down the hole a voice says: "Woah! Let's have pork on our next pizza, dudes!"

(Kermit runs over and embraces Piggy who turns into an alien. Sigourney Weaver runs out and blows her away with her laser.)

(Meanwhile, Fozzie Bear appears in a sleigh, with Rudolph leading the way through the fog.) (Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer plays in the background (the heavy metal version)).

(He lands the sleigh right in front of the First National Bank. Out runs Al Pacino with bags of money and jumps in the sleigh and with Dirty Harry hot in pursuit, Fozzie slaps the reins and proclaims)

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid!, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

Kermit yells: "Fozzie, how did you remember all that?"

Fozzie shrugs and yells back: “I have just always wanted a reason to say it!”

Kermit shakes his head: “This is Kermit T. Frog...” (Will Ferrell kicks him aside and takes over.) “Beat it frog! Let a real anchorman take over!” Just then, Spiderman swings by and gets shot down by Dirty Harry. “Do you feel lucky, punk?”

And now, for something completely different, John Cleese slaps Harry Potter across the face and says: “Do something, boy!” Harry conjures up a giant dragon which breathes fire and incinerates Will Ferrell (and everyone cheers), Harry Potter bows and walks off stage.

Santa runs in scratching his beard and yells: “Has anyone seen a sleigh with eight or nine reindeer? You can't miss it, the ninth reindeer has a big red nose! It was the strangest thing, I believe I was robbed by a bear telling awful jokes!” <

Kermit walks back out and flips out his cellphone: “Fozzie, can you hear me now?” Captain Kirk walks out, flips out his communicator and says: “Scotty (pause), one fat man (pause) in a (pause) red suit (pause) to be beamed up (pause) on to that sleigh! (pause) And, hold the (pause) criminals and the money (pause) in the brig until I get there!”

Santa says, just before disappearing: “That won't be necessary! I'll drop the money down the bank's chimney as I fly by!”

Tom Cruise runs out, jumps up on the randomly placed couch and yells “Wait! Show me the money!” He hits the couch a couple times in excitement and then runs off.

Three chipmunks run out on stage. A voice in the background yells: “Ready, Simon?” “Yep!” Ready, Theodore?” “Okay!” “Ready Alvin...? ... READY, ALVIN?” “OKAY. DAVE!”

They clear their throats and begin to sing: “Christmas, Christmas time is near. Time for rum and time for beer..” “ALVIN!” “Okay. Dave!” “We've been good, but we can't last! Hurry Christmas, hurry fast! Want a plane.... (And a plane crashes into the stage. The chipmunks take advantage of the chaos and run away.)

Just then, Snoopy lands his dog house right beside it, shakes his fist, and flies away with his scarf flailing in the breeze. (The crowd goes wild!)

Kermit once again shakes his head and says: “Well, you saw it live, right here, folks!”

Just then, all hell breaks loose with alien ships zooming in over every major city on the planet. Will Smith comes out, looks up, and says “Oh, crap, not again!”

Captain Kirk looks at him and says “No fear, they're not Romulans, they are just Klingons. They like to follow me around wherever I go. Get it? 'Kling-ons'?” He walks off stage giggling like a school girl. Fozzie gives him a high five just off stage.

Winnie the Pooh comes out juggling honey pots and says: “Oh, bother! I wish somebody would beam him up, already!” Tigger comes bouncing out singing: “The wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things... “ Piglet walks out holding his ears and yells: “Enough about the springy-thingy! I'm sick of it!”

Kermit scrunches up his nose looking at Piglet: “Do you have an older sister who wears pink leather?” Piglet gives the frog a strange look and walks off stage, followed by a bouncing Tigger and a still juggling Winnie. “Oh, bother!”

Kermit: “Well, I guess it is time to wrap up this crazy story!”

A long-eared rabbit saunters out on stage with a carrot in his hand: (crunch crunch) “Ehhh! What's up, doc?”

Kermit: “Well, if it isn't one of the most respected movie characters in the business. It's... it's... (gulp)...”

Bugs: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, doc! I just came out to tidy things up because you aren't doing so well.”

Bugs motions off stage and a tiny frog with a crutch comes out on stage. He clears his throat and clearly says: “God bless us, everyone!”

All three of them together say: “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Bugs: “That's all, folks!”

They turn around and walk off stage.

Carl says that we are going to do something 'better' next year, but, I think this was a lot of fun! I have good ideas, huh? ha ha ha ha!

Happy Holidays!


  1. lol.. both were excellent! The best part is that you had fun writing it!

    Merry Christmas Kelly. May all your wishes come true!

  2. This was fun indeed. Very groan inducing. We either did really well or we possibly killed Christmas. We'll have to wait and see. ;) Congrats on a very fun idea. Love the idea of Fozzie and Kirk having the same sense of humor. I can totally see that.

  3. Very fun! I actually laughed (at parts) and I don't think you killed Christmas... :) Merry Christmas!

  4. That was a lot of fun. Have a very Merry Christmas!

  5. We had a lot of fun writing it at like one in the morning. It took like two hours. I had to keep reminding a certain someone that it was supposed to be Christmas. lol He kept wanting to kill people...

    Merry Christmas everyone!

  6. Oh, and Carl, I am very happy you picked up on the humour between Fozzie and Kirk. lol

  7. WOW - I enjoy it! You've made me laugh too :) I love those darn muppets! You and hubby did wonderful job writing it :)

    Once again, thanks Kailana and Marg for setting up this wonderful Blog Advent Tour 2008! I had fun and enjoy visiting blogger's during the tour. And thanks for letting me participate! You guys did a great job :)

    A very Merry Christmas, Kailana (Marg) from OUR to YOUR family :)

  8. Thanks to you and Marg for hosting. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  9. Merry Christmas Kailana!

    You and Carl were awesome! Very, very cute. I have tears in my eyes from laughing :)

  10. Julia: I am glad that you enjoyed it! We had a lot of fun writing it. Considering I had planned to do it alone, I thought it was very nice that we ended up doing it together!

    Sherry: I hope you will join in again next year! Merry Christmas!

    Heather: I am glad you enjoyed it. I have to keep the other writer up-to-date on the comments, so he will be very happy to hear you found him funny!

  11. Very, very funny. Especially " 'No fear, they're not Romulans, they are just Klingons. They like to follow me around wherever I go. Get it?' "

    Loved this, too - "Bugs motions off stage and a tiny frog with a crutch comes out on stage. He clears his throat and clearly says: 'God bless us, everyone!' "

    Wonderful double post from you and Carl. Merry Christmas, Kailana! Thanks for doing the Advent Tour - another wonderful holiday season for me thanks to you and Marg.

  12. What great minds! I wish I had a talent for writing like that. Too funny. Read it to my son and he got a good laugh out of it as well. Can't wait to read the next one. :)
    Hope you all had a Great Christmas! Just now catching up.

  13. Thanks! I had fun writing it. :)


Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

I am so sorry, but I turned anonymous commenting off. I have had it from the very beginning, but that is how the spam is getting by my spam filter at the moment. If it is a big deal I will turn it back on and moderate all comments. I also changed moderation from older than 14 days to older than 7.